It’s 2:00am and I am wide awake.
I want to talk to someone; I want to talk to you.
How do I know who you are? How do I know you are the one I want to talk to?
I don’t know how to explain it. I just feel a connection.
There has always been you, even though I don’t know exactly who you are. In fact, not knowing exactly who. You are, but knowing you are a benevolent someone who really cares what I might say is what I most need right now.
I mean, I can’t just pick up the phone and call you.
But if I did then you’d be Mary or Lee Ann or Jimmy or Ron: You’d the the particle instead of the wave.
And don’t get me wrong! I need the particle! I need each individual in my life . I treasure my friends and family. But I need the indiscriminate wave as well.
Does that make sense?
Maybe it’s like writing to Dear Diary.
The thing is, there has to be a connection to someone outside of myself. I don’t want to talk to myself even that is what it seems like I’m doing.
You can need me like that too. Sometimes you need me to be part of a collective, and at other times you may need to connect with the individual me, the me that I happen to be at this particular time and place . You might be feeling quite wavy and. n need of definition so I might be able to help you out with that by being peculiarly myself
But I don’t mind being part of the mist either, part of the primordial possibility.
I know that sometimes we are who we are and sometimes we are exponential potential.
Either way, I love you. Thanks for being here (and there) when I can’t sleep.