Trying To Help Someone Who Does Not Want Help

Walking away from this battlefield with wounds that are painful and messy, but not life threatening, I have the opportunity to see where I went wrong.

Let’s begin with the battle itself.

I didn’t have to walk onto the field.

I didn’t have to look the dragon square in the eyes and say, “let me help you.”

When the beast started shooting fiery looks my way and blowing smoke. I could have walked away.

I pray that when I am faced with this situation again, I will shut my ever-helping mouth and get the hell away from danger.

If I stand there and put flowers at dragon’s feet, they are only going to add fuel to her fire—fire that she will inevitably use to burn me.

My guru friend helped me gain this insight after I collapsed in a weeping heap of sour defeat. She helped me remember to “carry my space with me.”

She reminded me that I do not have to retreat into isolation in order to live a peaceful life. I do not have to let dragons hurt me, but I don’t have to run away and hide either.

She said that to carry my space with me would enable me to act instead of reacting to the antics of fire breathers. If I had had my composure, I would have recognized the familiar trap and would have known from experience that dragon’s of this caliber do not appreciate “positive energy.” In fact, good vibes only piss her off. She wants misery and I handed it right over to her by falling down and letting her stab my exposed, soft belly.

But I’m on my feet again, ready to act according to my own values and principals.
My sword and shield are in my possession where they were all along, though I lost sight of them.

I’m going to talk to my inner wizard and see if we can rake up enough Reiki to heal my own wounds and carry on with the tasks of Questing.

It is not easy to Quest for peace and serenity in a land where violence is a sport.

I’ve requested a change of venue. I don’t want to save this dragon anymore. She was never mine to save. And save from what? From being a dragon?

I’m a human being.

I thought dragon’s were fantastic creatures and that every warrior-girl on a quest ought to have one in her life.

But I don’t feel that way anymore.

I may not be able to keep dragon’s off my path; I’m sure I will encounter them. But I certainly do not have to save them or call them by a familial term of endearment.

Walking away from the battlefield. Let the dragon gloat. She doesn’t care or even know what has been lost.

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